Mountain Against the Sea Essay -- History, Zionist, British

In Mountain against the Sea (2009), Salim Tamari investigates dichotomies that exist within the historical memory of Palestinian â€Å"modernity† prior to and during Zionist and British influences and how this has contributed to the separation from the social changes that were taking place in Ottoman Palestine at the turn of the twentieth century. Typical historical methodologies have used the Nakba as the defining moment of change within Palestinian societies. Tamari, on the other hand, moves beyond this essential methodology and explains how modernity and complex social changes were occurring in Ottoman Palestine even before 1917. By taking advantage of geographical terminologies, he explains this through the cultural divides that were arising through the connector cities, such as Jaffa, between the inland (mountain/traditional) cultures and the cosmopolitan coastal (sea/contemporary) cultures. Tamari utilizes and builds upon theories of small town urban sprawl and demonstr ates how social control (authoritarianism) differed between Ottoman Palestine and current small towns within the West Bank. Building upon these internal changes taking place all over Palestine before, and to some extent after the Nakba, Tamari proceeds with the second half of the book by narrowing the focus on particular urban intelligentsia, and social and political reformers. Much of the discussion here is devoted to those participating within Jerusalem society and the author challenges conventional ideas of the city being devoid of modernity prior to British entanglements. Building upon his urban foci of â€Å"hybridity,† Tamari explains the cultural hybridity that took place within Ottoman Palestine. Many of his arguments challenge typical ideas about early Pale... ...im Arab Communist like Najati Sidqi; the resulting conclusion is always the same – the traditionalist perspective of a pastoralist Palestine is unfounded. By investigating early cosmopolitan social shifts, popularized ceremonies, the rise of urban intelligentsia, the destruction of coastal cosmopolitan centers and the resultant small town social authoritarianism, the rise of the â€Å"nostalgic narrative† referencing a lost traditionalist society, and the subsequent generations to synthesize imagined societies with reality, Tamari has successfully challenged the Palestinian rhetoric of who Palestinians were before, during, and after the Nakba. Tamari has utilized â€Å"new† sources of information leaning heavily on memoirs, unpublished diaries/journals, and commemorative events resulting in an amalgamation of new perspectives on the social changes within Palestinian society. Mountain Against the Sea Essay -- History, Zionist, British In Mountain against the Sea (2009), Salim Tamari investigates dichotomies that exist within the historical memory of Palestinian â€Å"modernity† prior to and during Zionist and British influences and how this has contributed to the separation from the social changes that were taking place in Ottoman Palestine at the turn of the twentieth century. Typical historical methodologies have used the Nakba as the defining moment of change within Palestinian societies. Tamari, on the other hand, moves beyond this essential methodology and explains how modernity and complex social changes were occurring in Ottoman Palestine even before 1917. By taking advantage of geographical terminologies, he explains this through the cultural divides that were arising through the connector cities, such as Jaffa, between the inland (mountain/traditional) cultures and the cosmopolitan coastal (sea/contemporary) cultures. Tamari utilizes and builds upon theories of small town urban sprawl and demonstr ates how social control (authoritarianism) differed between Ottoman Palestine and current small towns within the West Bank. Building upon these internal changes taking place all over Palestine before, and to some extent after the Nakba, Tamari proceeds with the second half of the book by narrowing the focus on particular urban intelligentsia, and social and political reformers. Much of the discussion here is devoted to those participating within Jerusalem society and the author challenges conventional ideas of the city being devoid of modernity prior to British entanglements. Building upon his urban foci of â€Å"hybridity,† Tamari explains the cultural hybridity that took place within Ottoman Palestine. Many of his arguments challenge typical ideas about early Pale... ...im Arab Communist like Najati Sidqi; the resulting conclusion is always the same – the traditionalist perspective of a pastoralist Palestine is unfounded. By investigating early cosmopolitan social shifts, popularized ceremonies, the rise of urban intelligentsia, the destruction of coastal cosmopolitan centers and the resultant small town social authoritarianism, the rise of the â€Å"nostalgic narrative† referencing a lost traditionalist society, and the subsequent generations to synthesize imagined societies with reality, Tamari has successfully challenged the Palestinian rhetoric of who Palestinians were before, during, and after the Nakba. Tamari has utilized â€Å"new† sources of information leaning heavily on memoirs, unpublished diaries/journals, and commemorative events resulting in an amalgamation of new perspectives on the social changes within Palestinian society.

Ethnographic Paper

On November Seventh, 2012 at 1:39 PM I went to Naan Stop to continue my observations from before. I went in and it was the same employee who has been working there all eight times I’ve gone in. As usual I was the only person there, the radio was playing a popular pop song by the band One Direction. The owner of the store was in the back and popped out to say hello to me and ask how I was doing. I got my usual, a small mocha Boba and I waited as the employee, a young Mexican probably in his 20’s made the Boba with the same frown he has on every time I come in.I stayed in Naan stop for twenty minutes and no one came in. On November Sixth 4:50 PM I went to Naan stop with my friend and we got Boba. We were the only ones in there at first but then two Indian men in their late twenties came in and greeted the owner. They spoke in what I assumed was hindi and then switched to english and then back to hindi. I gathered that both the Indian men were graduate students at UCSB at some point and had returned for the weekend to say hello to old friends. I found it odd that they didn’t order anything from Naan Stop, they chatted with the owner and took a picture with him and then left.The music playing during their encounter was again pop culture. If there wasn’t Indian food and a couple of small cultural Indian statues one would never know it was an Indian Restaurant. My friend waited ten minutes after the Indian men left for new people to come in but got frustrated and left. I stayed for 40 minutes and within my 40 minutes two undergrad students came in and got pick up Indian and left, four girls all wearing their Alpha Phi letters came in ordered Boba and left. A middle aged man and his wife came in, I recognized them from two weeks ago when I was doing observations.The wife, similar to last time, was wearing an extremely low cut shirt and her breasts were actually spilling out. The man was in a wife beater, they ordered Indian food and were th e first customers I’d seen in the last two days to actually eat the food at the restaurant. They were very loud and I’d assume that they were lower class or lower middle class. The woman went on and on about her â€Å"fancy† sister going to Mexico. She kept saying fancy with such disdain, the one Mexican employee perked up at the name of Mexico but then got uninterested and went back to staring at his phone as the lady went on and on how her sister had a better life.The man kept staring at me and I felt pretty uncomfortable, I believe he was aware that I was observing them. He whispered something to his wife and they both turned around and stared at me as I was pretending to text someone. They finished their dinner shortly after and as they threw out their trash the woman rolled her eyes at me. They resented being the objects of my observation and I’m pretty sure their anger stemmed from embarrassment. As soon as they left and were out of eye sight I pack ed up my things and left.

Plato’s Ideal City

The Ideal City In Plato’s book â€Å"Republic† he describes what he thinks would be an ideal city, for this city to be ideal it would have to be just. In his just city there are three classes of people; gold, silver, and bronze/iron; known as the National Division of Labor. The guardians of the city are placed in the gold category, the auxiliaries in the silver, and the farmers and craftsmen are in the bronze/iron category. Plato argues that the National Division of Labor reflects the requirements of nature and produces a harmonious whole. Wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice are the four virtues that this ideal city must have to be just. The guardians, also known as philosopher kings, being in the gold class of the city, are wise, knowledgeable, and most importantly they are philosophers. They enjoy learning about forms and think that anything else won’t bring somebody happiness. They believe that forms are the highest level of happiness and that by learning about and understanding forms brings knowledge. To be a guardian they must be ruled by their reason and not let spirit or appetites take over. They are responsible for ruling the city. Guardians are not allowed to make any money or have a job outside of guardianship nor are they able to own anything. At childhood they start an extensive amount of study in music, poetry, and physical training. The study of these subjects develops harmony between them and is said to be good for the soul. Plato argues that â€Å"a good soul by its own virtue makes the body as good as possible† (403d). In the silver class of the city are the auxiliaries, or in other words the warriors. These people have to be courageous; they are responsible for protecting the city and keeping everything at peace. They love victory and honor and go through massive physical training to be strong for battle and enforce the laws of the guardians. Instead of focusing on forms, like the guardians, auxiliaries put their focus towards particulars. That is essential in the job that they have because they need to understand what particulars are and how they operate to be able to fight. If they the people in the silver class flourish and thrive in their jobs, then they will experience happiness. Just like the lives of the guardians, the lives of the auxiliaries are completely controlled; they all live in the same place and don’t have any privacy, they all eat the same thing and have their schedule planned out for them and they’re not allowed to own anything. They’re not allowed to make any money or have anything that isn’t needed to be a warrior. Basically, the auxiliaries don’t have lives other than training. The farmers and craftsmen are considered to be in the bronze/iron category, they are the producers of the city. Unlike the guardians and auxiliaries, they tend to be ruled by their appetites other than reason and spirit. The farmers and craftsmen seem to focus more on belief and opinion other than the forms or particulars. They have more creativity than the guardians and auxiliaries which was highly despised of by Plato. Plato believed that imagination was nothingness and ignorance; he did not think that it helped you flourish or thrive in any way. He said that a thing such as art and imagination only brought pleasure and not knowledge, which he said wasn’t happiness. Even if you were and artist and you flourished and thrived in that area you still weren’t considered to be happy because you don’t know anything about the forms and art is projected as ignorance. They are able to have jobs, make money, buy and sell property, and own whatever they want. Farmers and craftsmen are considered free people compared to guardians and auxiliaries, they only have to follow certain rules obtained by the guardians. The city wouldn’t be able to exist without the bronze/iron category; the farmers and craftsmen grow all the food and make every product that is needed. If I had to choose which category I would like to be in I would choose the bronze/iron category. I wouldn’t prefer to be in the gold or silver category because I wouldn’t want my life completely controlled and not be able to have any privacy. Having my life all about the rest of the city and having my life planned out isn’t something that I would enjoy, I would want to make my own decisions and not having them made for me. Sure you could say that that is selfish and unjust but that is what would truly make me happy. Plato says that to truly be happy that you have to flourish and thrive as opposed having pleasure. I think that if I was in the bronze/iron class that I would flourish and thrive because in that class I have more opportunities to succeed in different areas of life. In the bronze/iron class you are able to live your own life, the life you want to live instead of being told what to do and how to live every day. In this ideal and just city, everyone: the guardians, auxiliaries, and farmers and craftsmen, have to do their own task, otherwise it wouldn’t be just. The people in these three classes all have to flourish and thrive in whichever class they are in. The guardians can’t do the job of the auxiliaries or the farmers and craftsmen, the auxiliaries can’t do the job of the guardians or farmers and craftsmen, and the farmers and craftsmen can’t do the job of the guardians or auxiliaries. If everything works out the way that Plato plans, then this ideal and just city would be the perfect utopia.

Pakistan Steel Mills Essay

Topic: Privatization of Pakistan Steel Mills Subject: Pakistan Economic Policy Submitted By: M. Faizan Sohail (7133) Faculty: Shahid Iqbal Date of Submission: 12th August 2010 Pakistan Steel Mills Introduction: Pakistan Steel Mills is the producer of long rolled steel products in Karachi, Pakistan. The Pakistan Steel Mill is the country’s largest industrial undertaking having a production capacity of 1. 1 million tons of steel. The enormous dimensions of the project can be visualized from the construction inputs which involved the use of 1. 9 million cubic meters of concrete, 5. 70 million cubic meters of earth work (second to Tarbela Dam), 330,000 ton of machinery, steel structures and electrical equipment. It’s unloading and conveyor system at Port Qasim is the third largest in the world and its industrial water reservoir with a capacity of 110 million gallons per day is the largest in Asia. A 2. 5 km long sea water channel connects the sea water circulation system to the plant site with a consumption of 216 million gallons of sea water per day. Soviet Contribution to Steel Mill In January 1971 Pakistan and the USSR signed an agreement under which the latter agreed to provide techno-financial assistance for the construction of a coastal-based integrated steel mill at Karachi. The huge construction and erection work of an integrated steel mill, never experienced before in the country, was carried out by a consortium of Pakistani construction companies under the overall supervision of Soviet experts. Corporate Business and Net worth Pakistan Steel not only had to construct the main production units, but also a host of infrastructure facilities involving unprecedented volumes of work and expertise. Component units of the steel mills numbering over twenty, and each a big enough factory in its own right, were commissioned as they were completed between 1981 to 1985, with the Coke Oven and Byproduct Plant coming on stream first and the Galvanizing Unit last. Commissioning of Blast Furnace No. on 14 August, 1981 marked Pakistan’s entry into the elite club of iron and steel producing nations. The project was completed at a capital cost of Rs. 24,700 million. The completion of the steel mill was formally launched by the then-President of Pakistan on 15 January, 1985. Pakistan Steel today is the country’s largest industrial undertaking, having a production capacity of 1. 1 million tons of steel. Founders of Pakistan Still Mills The real founders of Pakistan Steel Mills are Prof. Dr. Niaz Muhammad, Wahab Siddiqui and Russian scientist Mikhail Koltokof. It was the hard work of Dr. Niaz Muhammad that thousands of scientists and technical staff got trained by him. His inspirations and innovations got him the highest award from President of Pakistan, and also from Government of Russia. The Government of Pakistan has given him Pride of Performance. His nomination for Nobel Prize was biggest respect what Pakistan achieved. Social obligations Pakistan Steel Mills, besides its core activities, has done a lot in making the environment in and around Pakistan Steel green and beautiful through the addition of three unique projects: the Quaid-I-Azam Park, The Quaid-I-Azam Cricket Park and the Quaid-I-Azam Beach. The Quaid-I-Azam Park, which spreads out over an area of 45acre, consists of a series of six interconnected lakes, lush green lawns and grassy terraces, colorful flower beds, fountains, life- size steel-made models of wild and marine animals, a jogging track, a bird sanctuary and mini-zoo, as well as a children’s play and recreational ground and boating facilities. The other unique project, known as the Quaid-I-Azam Cricket Park, has been established amidst the pleasing surroundings of Steel Town, featuring sloping grassy terraces all around for spectators and four diagonally-located hillocks with seating arrangements to provide a panoramic view of the game. This is spread over an area of 32000 sq. meters and is equipped with all the necessary facilities, conforming to international standards. The third project, Quaid-I-Azam Beach, is being developed with the aim to provide a seaside recreational spot to the employees of Pakistan Steel, especially those residing at Steel Town and Gulshan-e-Hadeed. Pakistan Steel is also on its way to establish Quaid-I-Azam National Park over a vast area of 400acre adjacent to Steel Town which shall be a tremendous contribution in the development of the environment. The organization also has a football team Pakistan Steel FC that currently competes in the Pakistan Premier League. History & Privatization of Pakistan Steel Mills After independence in 1947, it did not take long for Pakistan to come to the realization that progressive industrial and economical development would be impossible without the possession of a self reliant iron and steel making plant. The dependence on imports would cause serious setbacks to the country along with an extortionately high import bill which would be impossible to support. In 1968, the Government of Pakistan decided that the Karachi Steel Project should be sponsored in the public sector, for which a separate Corporation, under the Companies Act, be formed. In pursuance of this decision, Pakistan Steel Mills Corporation Limited was incorporated as a private limited company to establish and run steel mills at Karachi. Pakistan Steel Mills Corporation concluded an agreement with V/o Tyaz Promexport of the USSR in January, 1969 for the preparation of a feasibility report for the establishment of a coastal-based integrated steel mill at Karachi. Bhutto  had signed a contract with the former USSR to help build the project. The project was estimated  to cost Rs 10 billion but was completed at a cost of Rs 30 billion and took ten years to finish. The foundation stone of this vital and gigantic project was laid on 30 December, 1973 by the Prime Minister of Pakistan Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. The completion of the steel mill was formally launched by the then-President of Pakistan on 15 January, 1985. The steel mill project provided 20,000 jobs for workers from all over Pakistan. Unfortunately, from the very beginning plotting were launched by the bureaucracy against the workers in order to destroy their moral and ruin their potential. A propaganda campaign was started in the media to give the impression that the project was â€Å"a burden on the national economy† and that it was â€Å"a white elephant†. This campaign gradually became noisier  and  the idea that there were 8000 surplus workers who were a burden and needed to be gotten rid of was widely propagated. However, the bureaucracy and the press found it impossible to attack the workers due to the political strength and unity of the militant trade unions. With its propaganda having failed and its aims in ruins, the bureaucracy resorted to the traditional and criminal tactics of the ruling class – the tactic of â€Å"divide and rule†. In 1986 Zia-ul-haq dictatorship  began a series of brutal political assaults in Pakistan. The ruling class succeeded in generating racial  conflicts among workers, which  not only divided the workers but also weakened the labor movement. This tactic of â€Å"divide and rule† also affected Pakistan Steel. In 1988 the trade unions were divided on racial grounds which resulted in bloody hatred and ended  the traditional revolutionary unity of the unions. The labour movement was constantly harassed and its leadership degenerated and became demoralized. In 1992 Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif appointed a General, Sabeeh Qamar-uz-zaman, as chairman of Pakistan Steel. He was given the task of improving the situation and â€Å"normalizing† the working conditions. He imposed an undeclared ban on the trade unions at Pakistan Steel. Terror and the harassment  of the unions were  enforced in the name of discipline. An  internal security intelligence  unit, the  FIU, was also established and was headed by an army colonel. This notorious  intelligence unit â€Å"discovered† that 1500 workers were a â€Å"security risk†. These workers were punished and removed from their jobs. In 1995 Benazir Bhutto, in her second term in office, reinstated most of these workers. However not all of them were reinstated. During his second tenure in 1997, Nawaz Sharif  introduced  many reactionary anti-labour laws. The ex-chief of the FIU, Colonel Afzal, a batch mate of General Musharraf, was appointed as managing director of Pakistan Steel. This gentleman was twice suspended on corruption charges from his previous post as chief of the FIU, yet somehow he still merited the promotion to chairman. After Musharraf overthrew Nawaz Sharif in 1999, he introduced his â€Å"Seven Point Agenda† to the nation. Not surprisingly his top priority was the introduction of the brutal policies of rightsizing and downsizing, which in practice meant maximizing  unemployment. These policies  were sweetened with another Black Law: the Industrial Relations Ordinance 2000. In June 2000 the chairman of Pakistan Steel announced the immediate dismissal of 436 workers. The workers were informed in their dismissal orders that their services were no longer required. This was just the beginning however, and a new policy was enforced where workers were requested to enjoy the â€Å"benefits† of the VRP (Volunteer Retirement Policy). All of these laws and policies were exercised in the worst manner in Pakistan Steel; it became a model and an example to whole country, and to all workers and trade unions. 8500 jobs were ruthlessly cut by these barbaric policies. These sackings affected the workers deeply, and led to a change in consciousness. On December 31, 2001 the workers of Pakistan Steel organized a general strike against the anti-labor policies of the chairman and the government. The workers blocked all roads and access to the mill. On February 7, 2003 the workers again organized a strike. The authorities attempted to stop the strike by using the tactics of delay. But this only served to provoke the workers, and on March 8, 2003 the workers again blocked the roads. This time they also occupied the mill. This action paralyzed the authorities but unfortunately the struggle was lost because the workers were betrayed at the negotiating table by the trade union leadership. It was apparent that  this struggle could have galvanized the working class nationally  and that it could have found a mass basis. However, in the end it was drowned in petty compromises and conciliations. On December 30, 2003 Chairman Afzal was suddenly dismissed and again a General, Abdul Qayum was appointed as the new  chairman. He immediate gave the impression to the workers that the situation would be totally reversed and that the workers would not have to fear any  more suspensions or dismissals. He also announced an extension plan for Pakistan Steel that would create more jobs. However, just before initiating the extension plan, it was announced that Pakistan Steel would be privatised rather than proceed with the extension. This was a clear declaration of a severe attack on the rights of the workers. This was a clear attack  on their jobs and their working conditions. This declaration provoked 12,500 workers who are drawing the conclusion that they need to fight back. The government was not as lucky in the case of Pakistan Steel Mills as it had been with regard to certain other privatization deals.

Management Change Coursework Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Management Change - Coursework Example The same situation was present at Oticon where its activities adversely affected stakeholders. Some of the stakeholders had a direct interest and contact with the organisation while others had an indirect interest and occasional contact with it. For instance, Oticon customers were in need of the products manufactured by the organisation i.e. hearing aids, but preferred one that could be inserted inside the ear. Unfortunately, Oticon only manufactured hearing aids that could be placed behind the ear. On the other hand, Oticon customers demanded products that complied with the digital technology. This highly contributed to the plummet of Oticon’s performance and profit margins since it was a strong holder and advocate of the analogue technology. As a result, the organisation lost favour in the buoyant markets including the Far East and America. In addition, the shareholders wanted to own a fast-paced organisation that had a big market share and equity. Their main interest theref ore was in the growth of their shares and dividends. Conversely, the management and employees of Oticon were interested in the growth of the organisation so as to ensure job security, a lucrative remuneration and positive prospects. This was to be achieved by increasing the organisation’s efficiency and implementation of cost-cutting strategies so as to run a more significant, fast and innovative business. This was with the aim of attaining a competitive advantage and market control. The other stakeholders of Oticon that were also gravely affected by the deteriorating state included the government, suppliers, trade unions and pressure groups. With the aim of dealing with the raised concerns Oticon’s President Lars Kolind formulated a viable strategy to enable implementation of management change. The strategy included a decrease in the price of the hearing aid, a reduction of the hearing aid’s size, layoff of some staff, increased efficiency, cost-cutting measure s and implementation of a holistic customer care strategy which was to be supported by a spaghetti-organisational approach. This was to be achieved by changing the formal organisation of Oticon into a disorganised organisation. This involved the elimination of job titles and departments as well as the use of informal communication i.e. face-to-face. At first, this change was met with objection from employees where some felt that they did not possess the project management skills and ability to work as a team. Most, especially those that held hierarchical positions were against the loss of authority, status symbol, routine and information monopoly. In order to overcome, the resistance Kolind involved every employee in implementing the changes in the organisation. He ensured that every employee clearly understood the direction of the new management change. In addition he formulated human values that favoured employees and gave them the opportunity to empower themselves. As a result, a solid employer-employee relationship dictated by trust was established. Moreover, a carrot and stick leadership strategy was implemented. It gave employees only two options of either continuing to work at Oticon but under the new changes or resign. Therefore, majority of the employees had no choice but to comply with the stipulated changes than to lose their jobs. This strategy effectively curbed resistance because with time employees started to support the

Criminal Law Prosecutors Perspective Research Paper

Criminal Law Prosecutors Perspective - Research Paper Example Accordingly, this brief essay will examine the moral and ethical ramifications, as well as unique perspectives, that the prosecuting attorney faces with relation to the many different cases that are brought before him/her. The fact of the matter is that the role of the prosecuting attorney is oftentimes equally ethically grey as that of the defense attorney. This is due to a number of reasons which will be detailed in the following analysis. Furthermore, the underlying motives of the prosecutor will be analyzed along with commonly held misconceptions regarding the nature of their work and the type of justice that they are tasked with upholding. Firstly, a prosecuting attorney is encouraged to obtain convictions; regardless of the level of guilt. This encourages a situation in which many individuals are punished for crimes they either did not commit or did not commit to the degree that the State is interested in punishing them for. Furthermore, the drive to obtain convictions oftentimes dulls the sense of justice that the State should ultimately be pursuing. As prosecuting attorneys are interested in increasing their overall conviction tally, they are oftentimes oblivious to the legality and/or legitimacy of the cases that they prosecute. A further complication of the role and perspective of a prosecutor is the fact that they are often encouraged to disregard the moral standard in which a certain crime is prescribed to be punished. What is meant by this is that the prosecuting attorney is intimately aware of the penalty for infraction of a given law; however, this penalty is not always upheld when it comes time to prosecute the crime (Silbert 1718). The reason for this can be any number of things from the fact that the criminal has agreed to cooperate with the prosecution, another party involved has chosen to inform the authorities as to the specific details and nature of

Personal Narrative 2 Essay-My Story Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words

Personal Narrative 2 -My Story - Essay Example In the deepest recesses of my heart I believed that my infant was going to a good home. On the day of his birth, I summoned all the strength I could muster to resist the urge to hold my precious baby boy and to meet the new parents. Beyond a shadow of a doubt it would have been too hard for me if there was any contact. For this reason, even though I so badly wanted to say, â€Å"I love you† and to kiss him goodbye I let him disappear from my life with only the barest glance. The trauma of the pregnancy and the rigor of the decision-making left me with several health issues as a result I was in the hospital for one week after the delivery. On the seventh day a phone call came from the courthouse. In order to finalize the adoption my presence was needed. Perhaps this was the test of my mantle- the day was so hard and emotional for me and my mom, I distinctly remember my body shaking. The shaking was extremely uncontrollable to the point that I could not even sign my name to the papers. Nonetheless, the judge appeared to understand my plight. He advised me to take my time. Signing that piece of paper was worse than all the labor pain endured during birth. My mom and I walked out of the judge’s chamber; I looked at her to see tears roll down her face. It broke my heart to see her cry. Year after year would pass by. Without fail, during the week of July 10th I would find myself overwhelmed with depression. On that day I would look up in the sky and whimper, â€Å"Happy birthday my baby boy.† As I grew older I would wonder whether my offspring ever thought about me, whether he would ever try to find and if he did find me would he forgive me. From time to time my family and friends would ask me if I would like to find him. My answer has always been a resounding, â€Å"YES!† However, I would silently speculate about the potential nature of his attitude towards me - would he reject me or would he be thankful that he was never part of my life. My speculation always ended in the same manner- let sleeping dogs lie it would be best that he try to find me when he is ready. In 1998 I gave birth to a beautiful girl, Alexandria Louise. She was the joy of my life. It was simply delightful to know that I could keep her forever. Nevertheless, there was still emptiness, a yearning in my heart for my baby boy that I had given up seventeen years earlier. I married Alexandria’s father, Poncho Rugg, in 2008. The marriage marked another exciting milestone in my journey of life. My husband was thrilled but sad to hear the story about my son. Constantly, he would ask me if I was ready to start the search and consistently, my reply would be no. I always believed that the time was not right and that one day he will look for me but only when the time was right. My personal information was everywhere in cyberspace. I believe that he had an abundance of opportunity to search for me if he was interested. I resigned myself to the hope of him searching for me and finding me one day. It was December 15, 2009. Every Tuesday night was pool night at Paco’s. On this particular Tuesday, my husband decided to accompany me to watch and have a birthday drink with me given that the next day was my birthday. It was my turn to shoot. I was nervous because I was shooting against a top player on the opposite team. I would look at Poncho from time to time and smile. On one occasion, I turned to him but he was on his cell phone. Not